


the longer I'm here, the more I remember where I came from

by notmadderred



Series: justice league more like justice fam [1]
Category: Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Autism Spectrum, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Hurt Wally West, Identity Reveal, Secret Identity, Self-Doubt, Trans Character, Wally West is The Flash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 19:36:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16898664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notmadderred/pseuds/notmadderred
Summary: Wally West is more than a little surprised when Batman and Hawkgirl show up at his day-job at the CCPD. Things go downhill from there.





	the longer I'm here, the more I remember where I came from

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [all our yesterdays have lighted fools](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12297354) by [flashandsubstance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flashandsubstance/pseuds/flashandsubstance). 



> I'ma warm you: Bruce is kinda OOC in this. But I needed someone on his role, and frankly, he fits it best.
> 
> Also, please let me know how you feel about this interpretation. This work isn't meant to offend anyone. Please inform me if it did.
> 
> (ALSO: sorry for the EXTREMELY hand-wavey science. Seriously. It got way out of hand. Either I do no research or I do All The Research, and this one is the former.)

Wally West was a chemist and forensic scientist. For all the Justice League's talk about how he was all brawn and no brains, he lived solely for the latter before he was struck by a bolt of lightning.

This, of course, they didn't know of. He needed the man in the mask to be entirely separate from the science-obsessed nerd in a lab coat bumbling his way about the CCPD. Because as much as he would deny it (which would be to his dying breath as the Flash), that was who he was. In the mask, he realized he could be anyone he wanted. As Wally West — as himself — he was stuck to what the world decided for him. He wasn't a hero.

As Wally West, he was used. He loved his job — though not as much as being the Flash — but his co-workers often dumped their workloads on him. He was loved by the captain because he was fast (would you believe), efficient, the best at what he did. Best if all, he enjoyed it. Therefore he earned the stigma of 'Captain's Little Pet.’ They pushed him around, gossiped about his odd quirks (stammering, flapping his hands in an explanation, always anxiously looking around, never meeting their eyes — things that mostly went unnoticed or viewed as a side-effect of his superspeed by the fellow Justice League members). He hated it. He hated them. But Wally kept his head down, kept to his work, finished said work impossibly fast (but discreetly) then filling up the remaining time with Flash business where he was finally happy finally _free_ —

So his lives had to be separate. He couldn't let the Justice League see him as Wally West, the awkward, disabled kid he really was. Viewing him as an incompetent, too-confident, flirtatious superhero was much better.

Needless to say, he was _extremely_ surprised when Batman and Hawkgirl showed on at his lab alongside his proud-looking captain.

Wally's first thought was that he'd been found out. They (Batman, most likely) dug into his past and found out who he was and was here to tell him that there was no way they were— that they were— goingtoletsomeautisticguyholdaplaceamongallthose _superheroes_ —

“Wally West?” Hawkgirl began hesitantly— no, not hesitant, patient and careful because Cap probably told them that he was a wreck of a human being and _no!_ —

“Wally?” said Cap, putting a hand on his shoulders. 

With more than a little horror, he realized he'd been frozen, staring at the pair of heroes as Hawkgirl was likely talking. He ran a hand through his auburn hair. “Ah, yeah — s-sorry, Cap. W-what do you need?” he asked smiling painfully wide as he looked back at his partners in heroism.

Batman kept his stoic stature as Hawkgirl offered another fake smile. “No problem, Mr. West. We were just wondering if you could land us hand on a case the Justice League has been working on. It seems Lex Luthor has been causing more trouble, and your forensic expertise may be exactly what we need to find him.”

They'd never mentioned anything to the Flash about Luthor. A small flame of annoyance bubbled in his chest, but he swallowed it down just as quickly. “O- of course! But why me?”

There was that smile again. God, must've been painful for her to keep putting on that face. A part of him did appreciate the gesture — she didn't want to intimidate him.

Because they didn't know he was the Flash.

Relief crashed down his spine. Oh, thank _God_.

“Easy: you're the best,” said Hawkgirl. “You're fast, effective — you've been the greatest asset to forensic crime the CCSP has ever seen.”

“And you have my permission,” Cap interrupted. “We don't currently have any big cases, but I'll pass what you have been working on to Sanders.”

He blinked, turning his gaze to the ground. “Ah, no worries. I just finished up.”

Cap chuckled. “Course you have. Good job, kid. Have fun, and be careful out there.”

Wally didn't know if this was bad or good. Maybe both.

Either way, he followed Hawkgirl as she made casual conversation, responding mostly in a series of grunts. He'd been lucky they didn't recognize his voice. Then again, he talked a helluva lot differently when in costume.

Most importantly, he ignored the eyes and whispers that followed him out.

As soon as they got in the car (Batman's, by the looks of it. How much money did this guy have to get all this stuff?), Batman finally spoke. “Are you sure you're up to the task, West?”

He huffed. “What? You afraid I'ma freak out on you? I can handle a little pressure, 'kay?”

And he definitely sounded a bit too much like Flash right then. God, but it was so easy — he was always Flash around them!

By the slight movement of her cowl, Hawkgirl must've lifted a brow. “You seem ready, then.”

He winced then clasped his hands together and stared down at them. He was Wally West right now. Not Flash. He could _not_ let them find out about him.

 

The rest of the drive was spent in silence. Wally spent the entire time shifting, squirming in his seat wondering exactly what the pair was onto.

He was left curious about why they'd leave out Flash when he did find out. It wasn't anything special — analysis he could finish in really short time because of his speed. So why? It was just a matter of tracking Luthor, after all.

“So, uh… Hawkgirl,” he began pulling back from the microscope, “is this a project for… for all of the Justice League or just you and Batman?”

“Ah,” she said, “are you a fanboy? Want to meet everyone? I know Flash is always up to greet an admirer.”

True, but not exactly helpful. “No, no,” he said, waving his hands. “I just meant, uh…” Wally took a breath. “I more meant, like, does… do all the members know what you're doing?”

She visibly winced at that. “Not quite, actually. Superman and Green Lantern are busy right now — not to mention, it's sometimes best to keep Superman away from Luthor with all the kryptonite he's gathered — and we haven't told Flash. This one is delicate and would probably be boring to him, anyway. Besides,” she continued, and he could see her relax right before him (just like so many other people — they thought people like him couldn't do anything with the personal information given to them, couldn't feel one way or another about because they were _broken_ ), “he's a bit… well, a bit childish, to be honest.” There it was. “He'd run off head-first, and we'd end up so focused on saving him that Luthor would manage to run off again — this time without leaving any clues.”

Wally swallowed. She didn't know it was him. She didn't know how much it hurt, how much he covered with the laughs and jokes. But she did have a point. He was… he was _him_.

“I think I'll have his location down within six hours.” Probably more like two, even less if he was left alone and could use his superspeed. “Does that work for you?”

“Oh?” Her wings perked. “Yes. I wasn't expecting you to be _that_ fast. How accurate will you be?”

“Depends on… on what the evidence says.” He turned to the desk. “I'd guess within a couple miles.”

“Thank you, Mr. West. Truly.”

There was a smile in her voice. It fell flat against his ears.

 

Luthor was in Des Moine, Iowa. Why he chose the States rather than fleeing the country altogether, Wally had no clue. He'd left the makeshift lab to tell Hawkgirl when he heard Batman and Wonder Woman talking.

“He can help, Batman. Do not underestimate him simply because of what hand life dealt him. You already know he is good.”

Batman grunted. “You didn't see him in the car. It was hopeless. He'll get flustered, give us the wrong info if he ends up getting any at all. It was a risk to take someone like him onboard. This is too much for him.”

“That is not your decision to make. It was his. Besides, you should not look down upon your fellow humans. Your society has made insults of so many so far. With the homophobia and transphobia… this is just as bad.”

He growled. “It is not the same. It is about the ability to get it done, not the character of the person.”

“Oh, please,” she shot back, the anger rising in her voice, “people did used to say the same about people like myself. According to them, transgenders couldn't function normally, they were _abominations_ —”

Oh, shit. He did not know that. And he was definitely not going to keep eavesdropping on a conversation so personal, as flattered as he was to see her defending him (though just as hurt by Batman's arguments).

He cleared his throat, and the pair turned to him, equal expressions of surprise donning their features (if he was Flash right now, he'd have savored that look on Batman's face, calling him out and rubbing it in).

“Wally West!” said Diana. “It is an honor to meet you.”

“Ah, same to you,” he said, and stiffly reached out a hand to shake hers. She reciprocated with far more grace than should've been possible.

“So, any developments? You have been at work for an hour and a half, yes?”

Actually, only an hour. He planned on waiting out to two so he wouldn't be too suspicious but ran out of things to do after half an hour. “Y- yes. I have his location. Luthor is in Des Moines, Iowa. And I… I am extremely confident in that. I did a bit of further digging and have a small area circled on a map that you'll probably want to check. I… think he's in there.” He nodded at the finish then realized he'd been using his hands a lot while talking and therefore shoved them in his pockets.

“Amazing work,” said the Amazonian.

He smiled at her, eyes flitting to fully meet hers briefly. Ah, the benefits of a mask. No one knew for sure when he was meeting their gaze. “Thank you.” ‘And wow what a trans icon’ he wanted to add because dayum. She was a rockstar. “I'll, uh… need a ride back to… work. I think.”

“How about you ride along, just for this mission? See what the Justice League can do? We owe you one for your help.”

“That's, uh… okay, sure, thank you.” He grinned. 

“By the way, Batman,” Diana continued, turning to look at him, “have you seen Flash? He hasn't been around today.”

Batman lifted his chin. “He has a day job. Either that or he's running around Central City saving cats from trees.”

And okay, that was fair. Wally had an affinity for cats.

“Yes, but still — I would think he'd have come when we requested his help.”

“But you didn't,” Wally found himself saying. His voice was confused and for a moment, he actually was. Then it hit him that Batman and Hawkgirl had likely acted alone in keeping the Flash away.

He had a theory that Batman had, indeed, killed with only his looks.

“What do you mean?” Diana asked him.

He swallowed. “I… uh… sorry, nothing. I… misspoke.”

He speed-walked away, his legs aching to properly run. She let him go, thankfully, probably turning on Batman as he exited the premises.

Wally was… anxious. A bit anxious. He knew he'd messed up (Batman's face said as much), but even still, the team wasn't supposed to be keeping secrets like that from each other. Excluding certain members from missions was wrong — they were a team. Not telling everyone about said exclusion was also pretty bad.

Then again, the only one they were truly excluding was him.

Once out of sight, he sped back to the lab and shut the door.

He placed his hands firmly on the table as he attempted to steady his breathing. He was fine. The Justice League didn't… they didn't… they didn't hate him. Did they?

There was a knock at the door before it swung open. Diana walked in, which he probably should have seen coming. “Wally West. I am sorry about earlier. Batman is… he has been through a lot in his lifetime.”

He gave her a lopsided smile. “Nah, don't worry about it. I get it.”

She pursed her lips at that. “You know, your voice sounds awfully familiar. Have we met?”

“No, I definitely would—” - _n't forget a face like yours_ , he almost finished but that would have been all Flash. He cleared his throat, turning pink. “-would remember meeting you.” There. All better.

She smiled. “Of course. I came to let you know that we are on our way to Des Moines. Feel free to give yourself a tour of the place. Batman, Hawkgirl, and I will be heading out soon. You should be safe in here.”

He nodded wordlessly in lieu of a response. She obviously hadn't understood what exactly a ride along was when she suggested it, but he'd expected as much. Even still, he kind of wished he'd just insisted he be taken back to Central City. That way, he could probably wallow in his own misery in peace.

 

Wally had always been aware that “safe” was a relative term when aboard a Justice League ship.

Even still, he was certainly not expecting that, after about ten minutes after all his fellow Justice League members had exited, the ship would be hit with a knockout gas.

It took him a second too long to realize what was happening. If he only realized it sooner, he could've created a vacuum that would prevent him from being effected as he got out and found out the source.

Instead, he passed out.

The last image he saw as he collapsed, choking on the air, was a woman in a gas mask. “Oh, a handsome one. They'll definitely surrender Superman to save this helpless human.”

 

He woke up God-knows-how-much later with a groan. His hair had fallen in his face, and his wrists and ankles were secured by cuffs.

“Oh, look who's up! My new favorite pet.” The woman came back into view, face still obscured by the mask. He frowned. There didn't appear to be any real need for it. “Don't worry,” she pursed, grabbing his chin and tilting her head, “the Justice League is coming to save you, lab boy. As much as I wish I could've kept you to myself.”

So they were already on their way. In that case, he didn't need to worry about escaping (which, given some of the new skills he'd been practicing, may have been pretty easy). They'd come in, save him, and be on their merry way as always. No need for him to be anyone other than Wally West.

“And if they don't have their precious Superman in tow, Luthor's got another little surprise for them.” 

“And what's that?” he asked, cocking his head and attempting an innocent smile.

She scoffed. “I'm not going to tell you. Do I look stupid to you?”

“With that mask,” he shrugged, “a little bit.”

She huffed. “Pretty boy with an ugly attitude. Just my luck.”

“Where's Luthor!” came a gruff voice from the entrance.

It was followed immediately by, “Release him!”

The woman in the mask turned to Batman and Wonder Woman. “Not until Superman is here.”

“He will reveal himself only once your hostage is free,” Diana continued.

“Oh, c'mon. Don't make me kill him! At least _prove_ that Superman is here.”

Diana and Batman shared a look.

“Hawkgirl!” Batman yelled, and she came flying out of the shadows with her mace, yelling, and struck the woman down with one blow.

Wally blinked. He should probably say… something. “Impressive.”

She looked back at him. “You're surprisingly calm for someone who's been kidnapped.”

He shrugged. “I work for the police in Central City. Stranger things have happened.”

“What happened?” Diana asked as she stepped forward, examining the cuffs.

“The Watchtower was gassed,” he said. 

This reeked of a trap. He had a feeling the others were thinking the same thing.

And sure enough, the second Diana actually laid a hand on one cuff, alarms went off. Diana was shocked violently enough to knock her out. Batman ran forward to catch her but was promptly stopped by a voice overhead. “You thought it would be that easy, Justice League?”

And then metal arms came from the walls, each grabbing ahold of the three members present. Wally gritted his teeth. This definitely wasn't good.

Luthor himself finally emerged. “Well, well, well. I can't say I'm surprised. As far as traps go, this one was just too easy.” He laughed maniacally, and Wally forced himself not to make a quip about it. “Getting Superman should be easy now. I mean, really. This was embarrassing for you. But here's the kicker: only one of you needs to be alive.”

No. Nonono.

Batman was currently struggling. He'd need only a couple minutes to find a way out, but given the way Luthor was walking toward him, he wouldn't even have that much time.

So… distraction.

“Hey, Luthor!” he called. “You're wanting to kill Superman, right?”

There he goes. Luthor turned around, curious. “I am. Why?”

“Because I think I can help you.”

“What are you doing?” Hawkgirl yelled, her wings pointlessly thrashing.

“Oh?” said Luthor, ignoring her. “And why would you do that?”

Wally kept his gaze to the ground. This could be dangerous, but Luthor was smart. He'd realize if he was being played. “I- I don't want to die. And I… I don’t— I don't choose sides. I just work. Create. Solve. It's… it doesn't matter what for.”

He didn't see Luthor's expression, but at least he had the man's attention. Hopefully Batman was figuring out the restrains. “I'm listening.”

“You keep using the kryptonite in its natural form. That only works if its nearby, and even then he can still fight against it. You'd need it to take on a more sustainable form. Something he can't so easily escape.”

“ _Stop it_ ,” Hawkgirl hissed.

“If— if you use an atomical decompresser and adjust its settings to pair with the natural frequency of the krytonite—”

“I can turn it into gas. I have to say — you've got an impressive mind. All I'd need is a way to get it spread throughout the atmosphere, and Superman is mine for the taking. I wouldn't even need these fools.”

“Wait!” he looked up. “Th- that's not what I'm saying. You don't… don't have to kill anyone.”

Luthor shrugged. “I want Superman to suffer before he dies. This may he the best way.”

And he was back to strolling to Batman, gun in hand. No more time. Batman wasn't free. Crapcrapcrap.

He didn't have a choice.

Everyone's focus was now on Luthor, and Luthor's focus was on Batman.

Wally closed his eyes and began to vibrate.

He'd found that, if he reached the right frequency — the frequency of air — he could phase right through any material just like J'onn J'onnz.

So he didn't hesitate as he freed himself from the shackles and placed himself right in front of Luther.

Because, in reality, he was both Wally West and the Flash. Wally West was the Flash. The same man. And while he could keep his identity a secret at the CCPD, if it meant saving his friends, he could bear to do the opposite for the Justice League.

“Oh, man, I wish could just take a pic and,” and formed a square with his fingers in front of Luthor's face and imitated a shutter sound, “take a picture. Keep it forever, right Lex? Can I call you Lex? I'm gonna call you Lex.”

There was a soft groan from the left.

“Oh, Diana! You're awake! Great! I just want to tell you — you're an icon. And I should also tell you,” he put a hand on his hip, “I'm afraid you're not actually my type." He glanced at Hawkgirl. "Nor you, I'm afraid. I know, I know.” He grinned salaciously. “You thought you had a chance. Sadly, my type apparently is constantly problematic.” He sighed dramatically and turned on his heel to face Luthor. “Isn't that right, Lexy?”

Luthor lifted his brows indignantly. “Who even _are_ you?”

Wally dropped his voice. “I'm Batman.”

Luthor growled.

“But, really, you thought you'd keep hold of li’l old me? Insulting! The horror! And also, why is she still wearing a gas mask? Is her breath that bad? In that case, why don't _you_ have a gas mask?” he continued, gesticulating wildly.

“What are you—”

Wally turned on his heel to face Batman. “Please tell me you've gotten out by now. I mean, I know I could've worked at it and take all the time in the world for that seeing as I'm fast and stuff, but stuff like that ain't in my field of expertise.”

Batman, unimpressed, revealed his freed hands.

“Great! I'll be back in a sec.”

And because, honestly, if they hadn't figured it out by now they never would, he went ahead and used his superspeed.

 

Diana watched in a state of shock as the forensic scientist sped off. “By Hera,” she found herself muttering as Batman released her from the metal clamps. She didn't even have time to process what she'd discovered because Wally West was back faster than she could blink, and now Lex Luthor and a few of his underlings rounded together and unconscious.

He then deposited a small hoard of kryptonite in front of her. “Bad guys always have a backup plan,” he stated plainly, bouncing on his toes and extending his arms dramatically. His gaze was bouncing all over the place even as he continued speaking to her. “This was all I could find here, and I made three run-throughs just in case I missed some. Also,” he continued, putting one hand under his chin, “you're welcome.”

“Flash?” said Hawkgirl incredulously as Batman released her. “How— what— did you learn how to _possess_ people?”

He brought his hand to the back of his head. “Uh, no. No, that's… not right.”

Woah. That was quite the change in demeanor. 

“Thank you, Flash,” she said smiling, hoping to break some of the tension. 

“Anything for you,” he shot back, and that was more of the Flash she knew.

But Batman shook his head. “That can't be right. You're—” He stopped himself before going any further, realizing his mistake. Or perhaps spotting her deadly glare.

“A redhead? Handsome? Definitely your type?” Flash said, grin broadening. “Or the fact that I'm not an idiot? Or maybe… maybe that I didn't get flustered and was able to handle it?”

Ah. So he had been listening to that conversation. She thought she'd sensed his presence in the hallway.

Batman actually had the sense to look sorry. He bowed his head down. “I'm sorry. That was wrong of me to—”

“Oh, no worries,” Flash butted in. “'M used to it. I'd just rather you, uh…” He glanced to the ground, then back up, “not kick me off the team?”

Diana lifted her chin. “And why would we do that?”

He blinked as if she said the most absurd thing in the world. “What?”

“I believe I also owe you an apology,” said Hawkgirl, stepping forward. “We should have told you about the mission. And I'm sorry that I was treating you different because…”

“Because I'm on the spectrum,” he finished. “Yeah, no. I'm, um, also used to that. Don't worry about it. Besides, I do get, uh… bored and distracted and behave childishly too often.”

“Stop apologizing for who you are,” Diana said, stepping forward. “We simply need to be more open with each other. Tell each other when we need help, and _certainly_ not go on secret missions. Are we in agreement?”

She was met with mumbled agreements and a curt nod from Batman. 

“Good. And Flash?”

His eyes widened at the sudden attention. “What?”

“Red hair suits you.”

“Oh. Thanks! I think. Wait, was that an insult or were you actually compl—”

“How about we finish this conversation _after_ Luthor and company are dealt with?” said Batman, the slightest hint of amusement lacing his tone.

“Wait, is that — is that _amusement_ I hear?”

Diana should have known Flash would notice. 

“No.”

“Sure, of course,” he retorted sardonically.

“Easy boys,” said Hawkgirl. “Let's just go ahead and get on it. Make out— I mean _up_ — later.”

Diana almost snorted. “She is right. Back to work.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah sorry this is crappy but I actually finished it so I thought 'what the hell' and posted it. Lemme know what you think, and please, point out all mistakes you find (which I suspect are many given that I didn't even proofread wth).
> 
> Also, I am aware the ending ain't exactly totally happy and conclusive. I may make this into a series so as to expand on this and explore more of the characters' personas, but I guess we'll see.


End file.
